Steady sexual income

When Ms. ATM and I first met, in the middle of our very first conversation, completely out of the blue, she started laughing hysterically. When I asked her what was so funny, she barely pulled herself together and holding back another attack of laughter said, "Do you always look so serious?”

I suppose I was a bit too serious throughout our brief relationship, mainly because I was afraid she liked me a little too much. It's never a good thing when a girl likes you too much when all you're trying to do is just have some fun. In fact that was precisely the reason I broke it off - my exact words were, "We probably shouldn't see each other - you like me too much.”

It was my turn to laugh when she informed me that she really didn't care for me all that much and was just after "…some steady sexual income..." After I somehow managed to wipe off the dumbfounded look off my face, I thought about asking if she would still be willing to accept a direct deposit, but I didn't have the heart.

- Mr. DirectDeposit